"calmxiety" & the state of AI in hospitality now

📌 Key Takeaways

Monika Nerger uses "calmxiety" to describe AI adoption in hospitality—we know there's a big shift coming and can't afford to sit on the sidelines, but leaders often don't quite know where it fits
Avoid ad hoc AI implementations: Start by identifying the real problems you're solving and get your foundations right (processes and SOPs) before buying any technology
Bring your tech partners together in one room to discuss how they'll collaborate—Monika's executive roundtable approach prevented disconnected implementationsl
In an AI-driven world, trust becomes imperative—the more digital we become, the more guests crave human-to-human connection and want to know who they can trust
Decentralized identity is coming faster than most hoteliers realize—Europe is already implementing systems where guests control their own data and can revoke access when done
Humanoid robots will transform hospitality operations within 10 years—hospitality needs to start thinking about what this means for how we build hotels and staff operations

Today's insight from Monika Nerger, industry advisor and former Global CIO at Mandarin Oriental Hotel Group, on how hospitality leaders can navigate AI with clarity. Listen to the full conversation →

Monika Nerger has a word for what many in hospitality are feeling right now: calmxiety.

"We're all trying to be calm on the outside," she told me when we sat down to talk recently in San Francisco, arguably the epicenter of AI development. "We know there's a big shift coming, but we don't quite know where it's going to fit, how we're going to plug in."

After leading Mandarin Oriental's global digital transformation and now advising companies on the AI frontier, Monika sees the same thing everywhere. Leaders know they can't sit on the sidelines. But they're also navigating endless conferences sessions, vendor pitches, and conflicting advice about where to start.

Here's her answer: Stop treating AI as a set of ad hoc technology solutions. Start with foundations.

The Ad Hoc Trap Hospitality Leaders Fall Into

Remember the big rush into chatbots? Monika believes this is a good example of a common trap hospitality leaders can fall into.

"The chatbots weren’t fully integrated into processes and data," she explained.

This reveals a common, persistent problem.

"It's a mistake to try and look at AI as an ad hoc set of technology solutions," Monika said. "You need to step back and reflect on the value you need."

That reflection starts with a premise that’s a closely held belief of Monika's: AI is not here to provide service. Service is something your people offer your guests.

If you remember that as your foundation, you'll make better investment decisions. You'll stop chasing the promise that a chatbot can replace humans. You'll start asking: What problems are we actually trying to solve?

Get Your Foundations Right First

Before you buy any AI technology, Monika’s advice is clear:

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Get the foundations right. Really understand your processes and your SOPs, because that's where rubber meets the road.

This isn't sexy. Nobody's writing case studies about process documentation. But that's where AI can actually help.

You can have cutting-edge AI, but if your foundational processes are broken, the AI just does the wrong things faster.

Her approach? Pace yourself. Don't rush to solutions without understanding what you're solving.

"This is the calmxiety piece," Monika said. "Make sure you're ready for it."

The Collaboration Strategy Nobody's Using

Here's where Monika's approach gets interesting. Most companies talk to their technology partners one-on-one. Monika brought them all together.

"I used to do executive round tables where I'd bring together a number of partners and potential partners," she explained. "I would share: here's the brand, here's the brand strategy, here's our growth. How are you at this table going to work together to deliver?"

Instead of five vendors selling five different AI solutions that may or may not integrate, you're forcing them to collaborate from the start.

"Talk to your vendors. Understand where they're enabling AI, how they're going do it, and how you can build trust into that equation," Monika said. "What's their roadmap look like?"

Because here's the risk: You might discover three of your vendors have the same technology, and you should have thought that through earlier.

This approach requires you to be clear about your brand strategy and growth plans. But it prevents the chaos of disconnected AI implementations that don't talk to each other.

The Trust Imperative in an AI World

As our world becomes more digital, something counterintuitive is unfolding: humans want more human connection.

"The more digital we become, the more we want to meet in person; we want to have that experience," Monika said.

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Human-to-human trust is becoming an imperative.

Why? Because everyone's worried about what's real. Is that content a deepfake? Who do I trust?

In luxury hospitality, this matters even more. "The more you spend, you really want to know, you really want to trust who you're speaking with," Monika explained. "And you don't necessarily want to do that all through a digital channel."

This is why thoughtful AI implementation beats rushing to point solutions like chatbots.

If your guests need trust, and trust comes from human connection, then AI should enable your colleagues to deliver better service—not replace them.

What's Coming That Nobody's Discussing

Monika brought up something I'd never heard discussed in my interviews so far: decentralized identity.

Europe is already implementing systems where you control your own data in a digital wallet. Your driver's license. Your passport. Your hotel preferences.

"Once you step back and think about the customer journey and taking away all that friction, now I can just tap at the airport," Monika explained. "And it flows all the way through."

But here's what makes it different from today's systems: It's your wallet. Your data. Not something you've given to a third party.

"I like the ability to give my data where it's appropriate. Only give what you need, not 10 pages of information," she said. "And what I really love is the ability to revoke it."

For hoteliers, this represents a huge shift. Monika pointed out that as a CIO, she didn’t want years of guest data sitting on servers across different countries, worrying about cybersecurity threats.

"I would much prefer that you have control of your data," she said.

This shift is coming faster than most US hoteliers realize. Europe's leading the way. And it will fundamentally change how hotels think about guest data, loyalty programs, and personalization.

Humanoid Robots: The 10-Year Horizon

Monika brought up another topic most hospitality leaders aren't discussing yet: humanoid robots.

She recently attended an event at the Computer History Museum focused on the future of humanoid robots. Three different humanoid robots were on stage, and their creators discussed why and how they're building them.

"The vision there is very much Bill Gates-esque," Monika said. "In 10 years from now, we're going to have humanoid robots in our home."

The number one use case? Washing dishes.

But the implications for hospitality go far beyond dishwashing. "We have an aging population. We're looking at ways to make that end-of-life last chapter more livable in your own home," she explained. "We know how hard it is to get assistance."

For hotels, the question becomes: How does this change operations?

"We already struggle today with bringing in people that are doing jobs that perhaps humanoid robots could do," Monika said. "We need to be very thoughtful about what's the timing of that and how do we shift and change how we build hotels."

Her example was practical: "Maybe we need less locker rooms and more charging stations."

She acknowledged the resistance. "There's a lot of concern that we're pushing off like, 'Oh, we would never have a humanoid robot in luxury or ultra luxury.'"

But Monika's take is direct: "The reality is the world is changing and we cannot not have the conversation."

This isn't about implementing humanoid robots tomorrow. It's about understanding what's coming and thinking through the implications now. How will your property design change? How will staffing models evolve? What roles make sense for automation versus human touch?

The conversation needs to start now, even if implementation is years away.

Where to Learn Without Drowning

Monika's advice for staying current without getting overwhelmed: Choose your sources carefully.

She listens to two podcasts daily—just 15 minutes each:

AI Daily Brief for headlines and game changers
Cyber Wire Daily because "there is a nefarious side to this and we shouldn't go in eyes wide open"

Beyond that, she's selective about industry associations. She joined the Destination AI Forum board because it's intentionally focused on AI for hospitality—not a general industry event that added AI as an afterthought.

"You could go to an AI event here every day in San Francisco," she said. "And the more you do, the more you realize how little you actually know."

The answer isn't attending every conference. It's being strategic about where you invest your learning time.

Three Actions for Hospitality Leaders

1. Map your actual problems before evaluating AI solutions. Don't start with "we need AI." Start with "here's the friction we're trying to eliminate." Then ask: Can AI solve this specific problem?

2. Bring your tech vendors together in one room. Share your brand strategy and growth plans. Ask them how they'll collaborate. Force integration from the start rather than discovering conflicts later.

3. Understand what's happening with decentralized identity. This isn't five years away. Europe is already implementing it. How will your loyalty program, your guest data strategy, and your personalization approach adapt when guests control their own data?

Monika Nerger spent years leading digital transformation at one of the world's best luxury hotel brands. She's now embedded in San Francisco's AI ecosystem.

Her advice? Stay calm. Acknowledge the urgency. But don't rush to solutions without understanding your foundations.

AI is moving fast. But moving fast without direction just creates expensive chaos.

Calmxiety. Not paralysis. Not panic. Calm acknowledgment of what's coming, paired with disciplined focus on what actually matters.

That's how you lead through this shift.

This insight comes from our full conversation with Monika Nerger on leading hospitality through the AI transition with clarity and intention. Read the complete interview and hear more about decentralized identity, humanoid robots, and collaboration strategies →

Monika Nerger is the former Global Chief Information Officer at Mandarin Oriental Hotel Group and a Board Advisor at Destination AI Forum. She was inducted into the International Hospitality Technology Hall of Fame in 2017.

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How to Lead Through AI in Hospitality